While listening to the new Chris Evans breakfast show this morning, I got a 'real nasty surprise'. What was so surprising? That Chris Evans is actually funnier than Terry Wogan? No, he isn't, though he's not as arrogant as he used to be, and rock radio has been driving me nuts with its guitar nazi regime*.
Focus man!
Ahem.
The reason I got a 'real nasty surpise' this morning while listening to Chris Evans wasn't when he was talking arse inbetween the bland playlist, and it wasn't when he was playing the music that forms the bland playlist, it was during a news report about the winter Olympics in Vancouver.
The 'real nasty surprise' wasn't that a man died on the luge this week, though that was undeniably horrible, that would be a 'horrible' surprise.
It wasn't related to the fact that I went to primary school with one of the figure skaters, David King, who i'd like to congratulate on his first Olympics. The 'real nasty surprise' made me throw up into the canal as I was having a relaxing stroll.
This is the truth. There is a sick new event in the winter Olympics called 'Bob Skeleton Slaying'. This morning there was an interview with one of the Slayers! I can only imagine its something like that scene in Jason and the Argonauts with all the skeletons, except with more snow and the skeletons are all called Bob for no other reason than to humiliate them and make it fun for kids and old ladies.
What the old ladies don't realise is that they are quite close to taking part in this orgy of madness themselves. The Canadian government have spent the last four years shipping in hapless old people from all over the world, upon death they join the Canadian army of the undead in Calgary**.
What do you think about 'Bob Skeleton Slaying'? Leave us your thoughts below.
Brother John
* With the exception of 'The Final Countdown' by Rainbow, and 'Jump' by Van Halen
** Allegedly
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