Scorpion Birthday

The Plague Doctors are working on a new song entitled 'Scorpion Birthday', here are the lyrics...

All she ever wanted was a quiet one, quiet one, nothing too flashy just some drinks with her friends

In a trendy bar where the cocktails are then nip nip nip nip nip nip nip nip nip nip nip nip nip

Scorpion birthday, scorpion birthday, maybe today will be your scorpion birthday

Billy's got a brand new bike today at the bottom of his bed when he woke up
At a party with a cake and a clown and the screaming aiiiieeeeeeeeeee

Scorpion birthday, scorpion birthday, maybe today will be your scorpion birthday

And you don't know what it's like to be alone
No you don't know what it's like to be alone

SCORPION BIRTHDAY!


For the less enlightened among us, here is the wikipedia entry for scorpion birthday.

Scorpion Birthday

A scorpion birthday is an event where a person is unexpectedly beset by scorpions on the anniversary of their day of birth.

The scale of a scorpion birthday can range from a peaceful meeting with a single scorpion, to a sustained and violent attack from a large horde. Peaceful meetings are rare, however, with most scorpion birthdays erring towards the violent end of the spectrum.

It's impossible to tell when your scorpion birthday will be, or indeed if you're ever going to have one at all. Many people are fortunate enough never to experience the terror of a scorpion birthday.

Scorpion birthdays seem to operate on a cycle, appearing once every hundred or so years.

Scholars have suggested that scorpion birthdays occur every 111 years (see entry for Nelson), but there is not enough evidence to confirm this theory(citation needed).

A select few unlucky people have had two scorpion birthdays. These people are known as "Double Scorpions", experiencing birthdays of extreme terror at the very beginning and end of their lives.

Scorpion birthdays are often perilous experiences, but crucially, never fatal. It seems strange that the scorpion birthday event, which frequently appears to be life-endangering, should actually act as a form of protection for the recipient.

This has led some people to see the scorpion birthday event as a form of misguided protection bestowed by a benevolent scorpion god onto humans on their birthdays. This controversial theory is coming to be more accepted by modern-day thinkers, but is shunned by traditionalists (citation needed).