Brother Paul's Top Eight Things Beginning With J in 2009

It's the end of the year, which can only mean one thing: LISTS. Lists are a brilliant way for people to put things in order. The Plague Doctors particularly like lists. Here is a list I've written, which is particularly era-defining and zeitgeist-surfing, I'm sure you'll agree.

1. Jiggery Pokery – The Duckworth Lewis Method
This is the best thing that happened all year, bar none. It's got the best lyrics I've ever heard. One time I listened to it 12 times in a row in the car and it was brilliant.

2. Journal for Plague Lovers – Manic Street Preachers
Who'd have thought? It's absolutely brilliant. After the boring flabby nonsense they've subjected us to over the past decade, it's amazing they manged to come up with something this amazing. AMAZING.

3. Jarvis Cocker in Fantastic Mr Fox
The highlight of the film, which is literally quite good, is when Jarvis turns up singing a stupid song and gets berated by Farmer Bean. “You wrote a bad song, Petey! That's bad songwriting!” It's ace.

4. Jack Bauer's return to form
After the desperate lows of series 6, a massive return to form for Kiefer. The ending was a bit rubbish, but there was plenty of classic Bauer to be savoured along the way, so that's ok.

5. Jones (Grace) headlining Latitude
Her banter was incredible. Her hula-hooping was incredible. Her outfits were incredible. Her songs were literally quite good.

6. John and Edward
The only people on the X Factor to ever genuinely possess the X factor. Why did we like them? It's hard to say. They were brilliant though. Their inevitable career of children's tv presenting, Halifax nightclub appearances and assault allegations will be depressing, but for one brief moment they were invincible. It was perfect and it was beautiful.

Also, calling them Jedward is frowned upon by real John and Edward fans (i.e. me), so don't do it.

7. JLS's video to Everybody in Love
They're well fit. This video showcases that side of them very well, they do lots of flexing and kissing girls. Marvin's my favourite. Also, I know someone who once might have swum in the same swimming pool in Peterborough as Aston, which is pretty incredible.

8. Je M'appelle by The Plague Doctors
Proof that The Plague Doctors is a modesty free zone. Je M'appelle is still our best song, only now it's got a poem on the front. Have a listen to it on our magical music machine over there on the right. AMAZING.